by Noella Noelophile®
(Royalty-free image by Pexels from Pixabay.)
Admit it.
Those gifts detailed in “The Twelve Days of Christmas” carol? They sound more like a hassle than a pleasure, if they were to show up in normal life. (Even those five golden rings: who’d need that many?)
And authors James Patterson and Ted Saffran have a hilariously good time with that concept, in their 2022 novella, The Twelve Topsy-Turvy, Very Messy Days of Christmas.
(Royalty-free image by Bruce Emmerling from PIxabay.)
The novella starts in a very dark place–not unlike A Christmas Carol. But it’s a darkly-humorous place. (Admittedly, the book starts with a joke that initially struck me as being complete gallows humor–but the story is so good that I’m glad I stayed with it.)
Siblings Will and Ella Sullivan are missing their mother, who passed away on Christmas Day, five years earlier. Their father, Henry, is barely functioning in his position as a professor at Columbia University–not to mention his role as a single dad. Will is going down a questionable path, in his attempts to impress the “cool kids” in the wrong crowd. Ella, who is both a complete germophobe and a highly talented artist, is painting scenery for her school’s upcoming Christmas musical–and dealing with a temperamental cast member with an ego larger than Manhattan.
And in their big, rambling old house on a Harlem street described as “modestly gentrified”, there’s very little light, and no laughter. Much less any signs of Christmas. And certainly, no presents.
Will and Ella have had enough.
(Royalty-free image by Pexels from Pixabay.)
Clandestinely, they set up a dating profile for their father, on a website for marriage-minded individuals. After all, they reason, the quickest way to have Christmas back in their home is to have their father happy again.
And mayhem ensues.
The children make an almost-immediate contact with a mysterious “Ms. Truelove”. Henry, catching them in mid-instant message to the stranger, fires off an immediate “no thanks” response.
But the next day, a package is delivered to the front porch. The return address? “Truelove Nurseries”.
(Royalty-free image by Mario from Pixabay.)
Certainly, you can guess the contents. But as in the song, that’s just the beginning.
Day Two brings two turtledoves, courtesy of “Truelove Aviaries”.
A less-than-enchanted Henry puts the children in charge of the birds as he tries to contact “Ms. Truelove”. But his insistence that she stop sending the odd gifts goes unheeded, as French hens, calling birds and other creatures wreak incredible havoc in the house.
Playing out against the background of this mayhem is each Sullivan’s daily drama, at school or work. And who exactly is this “Ms. Truelove”, anyway?
(Royalth-free image by Anastasia 538 from Pixabay.)
The tongue-in-cheek storytelling style had me laughing out loud more than once! But what I enjoyed most, was the imagination with which the authors have envisioned each day’s gifts. Where most of us probably envision the maids a-milking, drummers drumming and so on as English gifts, the gifts in this story encompass a much wider spectrum.
And that’s all I will say–except that I found the lords a-leaping, and their interactions with the Sullivan family, a standout favorite.
Thank goodness most of the people we love will probably not go to the lengths of a “Ms. Truelove” when gift-giving time arrives! But you may well want to tuck this book into someone’s Christmas stocking.